kickass gatherings

What do you offer?

I'm a Humanist wedding celebrant who brings heartfelt hilarity to your wedding ceremony. Whatever your story and whatever your love looks like, together we will create a ceremony which is a true reflection of you and your lives, and which starts your big day as you mean to go on: with love, humour, warmth, and personality.

Why do you want to work with the LGBTQ+ community?

I've had the privilege of leading weddings and vow renewals for people who are lesbian, non-binary, gay, gender non-conforming, trans and queer, and there's just something so special about celebrating LGBTQ+ love. Not in a novelty 'ooh aren't gay weddings fun!' kind of way, but in the sense that marriage and weddings weren't always an available option for some of the LGBTQ+ community (and still aren't for others). In fact, in most wedding ceremonies - whether for straight or LGBTQ+ couples - this is something I often reference when exploring the meaning of marriage at the start of the ceremony.

In legal marriage ceremonies the law still restricts the use of pronouns and gendered language, which is just another reason why a celebrant ceremony is so much better: the language used will be exactly what you need it to be. You don't need to be 'pronounced' as a wife or husband, referred to as a bride or a groom, or uphold the million patriarchal traditions still so engrained in weddings. Of course, in an ideal world, wholesale changes would be made to give more freedom and flexibility in all marriages... but unfortunately that doesn't seem likely any time soon. So until then, a celebrant ceremony is the best option (and obviously a celebrant ceremony has innumerable other benefits, too!)

I'd love to work with more couples who are rewriting the rulebook and celebrating their love fiercely, openly, and on their terms.

Allyship

I could definitely do more. As a bi woman in a straight-presenting relationship I have sometimes felt like a bit of an imposter in LGBTQ+ communities - it's easy to feel as though you have to justify yourself, like 'I know I'm married to a man, but I am queer, honest!!' But I appreciate that this also means I've been sheltered from so many of the daily experiences and struggles the LGBTQ+ community can face.

In my previous life as a secondary school English teacher, and in the supply teaching work I still do, I have spoken up and challenged problematic language (from students as well as other educators), openly discussed LGBTQ+ issues with students, and amplified the voices of LGBTQ+ writers in the classroom. LGBTQ+ literature has always been a big passion for me (reading Tipping The Velvet when I was 13 was definitely a factor in recognising my bisexuality!).

But I think my celebrancy is where I have done the most work in terms of active allyship. From day 1 I ensured the language used is gender neutral, and that I don't make assumptions. My enquiry form asks for 'name 1' and 'name 2' as well as pronouns (and I consider it a bit of a red flag when cis-het respondents leave those fields blank, because it means they think it's not an issue or that it should be obvious...)

During the planning process, I ask about the language you use about yourselves and your relationship - I won't assume that two women want to be referred to as lesbian or that two men like the term 'gay'. I won't assume how you will choose to enter your ceremony: together? Separately? With one at the front and one walking down an aisle? Something else entirely? And I will be guided by you in terms of which ceremony traditions you want to keep, adapt, or bin off altogether. On the day, I never use gendered language which may alienate guests when speaking to the crowd as a whole - a simple 'hi everyone!' covers all bases!