There’s a common misconception that simply being Queer, Gay, or part of the LGBTQ+ community inherently makes someone an ally to all others within it. However, the reality is far more nuanced. Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t absolve us from the responsibility of actively supporting and advocating for others in the community who face different or even more severe forms of discrimination and marginalisation. In fact, the notion that being LGBTQ+ automatically grants someone "ally" status can be problematic, as it often overlooks the biases, prejudices, and privileges that exist within the community itself.
Allyship isn't a passive label; it’s an active practice that requires ongoing reflection, education, and effort. Here’s why simply being LGBTQ+ doesn’t guarantee you’re an ally—and what we all need to do to become better allies to one another.
Internalised Homophobia and Queerphobia
Even as LGBTQ+ individuals, many of us carry deep-seated internalised homophobia, biphobia, or Queerphobia, shaped by the cis-heteronormative societies we were raised in. Whether it manifests as shame about our identities, disdain for more flamboyant or non-normative expressions of Queerness, or distancing ourselves from parts of the community, internalised prejudices can prevent us from being effective allies.
Internalised homophobia can lead to reinforcing harmful stereotypes or looking down upon others in the LGBTQ+ community who may not fit into a narrow image of what it means to be "acceptable." For instance, some gay men may distance themselves from the trans community or femme-presenting people in order to feel more socially accepted. Similarly, bisexual and non-binary people are often dismissed by others in the LGBTQ+ community, even though we should be united in fighting against all forms of erasure.
Recognising and addressing our own internalised biases is crucial. It requires a willingness to unlearn the homophobia and transphobia that we may have absorbed, and to actively re-educate ourselves to become better allies within the community.
Transphobia Within the LGBTQ+ Community
One of the most glaring examples of the divide within the LGBTQ+ community is the exclusion and marginalisation of trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people. Despite the LGBTQ+ acronym uniting us under a shared umbrella, not all members of the community accept or support trans people.
Transphobia can come from those who may be gay, lesbian, or bisexual but still hold onto traditional, binary notions of gender. This is particularly evident in certain exclusionary groups, such as TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists), who claim to be feminist and sometimes identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community but actively campaign against trans rights.
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t mean you're automatically supporting trans rights. Allyship requires actively standing up for our trans siblings, calling out transphobia wherever we see it—even within our own circles—and advocating for their right to live freely and safely. This includes learning about the struggles trans people face, from disproportionate violence and discrimination to healthcare access, and taking tangible steps to support their fight for equality.
You Have to Do the Work
Allyship isn’t passive. You can’t just claim the label and stop there. Real allyship requires continuous effort and action. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community by itself doesn’t make you an ally; you need to actively engage with the struggles faced by the different identities within our broader community.
This means speaking up when we hear harmful language or attitudes, whether it’s about trans people, non-binary folks, Black or POC LGBTQ+ individuals, or anyone else facing unique struggles within the community. It’s also about doing the internal work—checking our own privileges, unlearning biases, and holding ourselves accountable for our role in upholding or challenging systemic inequalities.
Centring Intersectionality: Supporting Our Black and POC Siblings
Another crucial element of LGBTQ+ allyship is understanding intersectionality. The experiences of LGBTQ+ people who are also Black, Indigenous, or people of colour (BIPOC) are often shaped by both racism and Queerphobia. It’s important to acknowledge that BIPOC LGBTQ+ folks face compounded forms of oppression, and that our allyship must extend beyond just fighting for Queer rights.
For example, Black and Brown Trans women, in particular, face staggering levels of violence and discrimination, far more than other members of the LGBTQ+ community. True allyship requires centring these marginalised voices, amplifying their experiences, and addressing the systemic racism and classism that makes their lives even harder.
If we don’t actively advocate for our BIPOC siblings, we are ignoring the most vulnerable within our community. That’s not allyship—it’s complicity.
Doing Allyship Right: Tangible Steps
So, how do we become better allies to each other within the LGBTQ+ community?
1. Unlearn Harmful Biases: Take the time to reflect on your own biases. Whether it’s internalized homophobia or transphobia, we all have room for growth. Read books, follow activists on social media, and listen to the experiences of others who may have different identities than you. Be willing to challenge your assumptions.
2. Speak Up and Call Out: When you see or hear harmful attitudes—whether it’s transphobia, racism, or biphobia—speak up. Challenge people’s prejudices, even if it’s uncomfortable. Change doesn’t happen through silence.
3. Support Marginalised Voices: Use your platform, privilege, or influence to amplify the voices of those within the community who are most marginalised. Whether it’s promoting the work of Black trans activists or uplifting non-binary perspectives, find ways to centre others’ experiences, especially when they’re often ignored.
4. Advocate for Inclusive Policies: Whether in your workplace, social groups, or larger community, push for inclusive policies that benefit the most vulnerable. Support trans-inclusive healthcare, push for anti-racist initiatives, and fight for better protections for LGBTQ+ people of all races, genders, and identities.
5. Donate and Volunteer: If you have the means, donate to LGBTQ+ charities, particularly those that focus on supporting trans people and BIPOC members of the community. Volunteering your time can also make a significant impact, whether you’re helping with outreach programs or organising events that celebrate diversity within the community.
Allyship is a Lifelong Commitment
In the end, being LGBTQ+ is an identity, but being an ally is a choice—one that must be earned through consistent, active effort. Allyship requires us to confront our own biases, speak up for others, and do the work to make sure that every member of the LGBTQ+ community feels seen, valued, and supported. Only then can we truly say we are allies to one another.
We are stronger together, but that strength only comes when we actively work to uplift the most vulnerable within our community. Let’s all commit to doing better, every day.
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